Bookpleasures.com - Meet Arielle Spring, Author of When Birds Sing
By Norm Goldman
Bookpleasures is thrilled to have Arielle Spring, author of When Birds Sing as our guest today.
Arielle is an incredible individual who has triumphed over adversity.
Despite starting her life in a nurturing environment filled with love and music, she encountered a series of traumas, including sexual assault and the sudden loss of her beloved piano teacher.
These experiences left her burdened with guilt, shame, isolation, and heartbreak, leading to untreated PTSD and a downward spiral lasting for more than two decades.
However, Arielle reached a turning point and made a profound commitment to rediscover herself.
She embarked on a transformative journey of healing and growth, becoming a domestic violence crisis group facilitator and establishing her own support group to empower women in transitioning from a victim mindset.
Today, Arielle is a certified professional life coach and health coach, dedicating her life to helping others while also pursuing her personal path to wellness.
Recently, Arielle published her memoir titled When Birds Sing. This deeply personal project took her five years to complete and is a testament to her resilience and transformation.
With her passion for music and design extending into the realm of writing, Arielle continues to explore her talents through books, publications, and blogging.
She looks forward to an exciting future as she embarks on her writing career, aiming to create a positive impact in the world. It's an honor to have Arielle share her inspiring story with us today.
Norm: Can you tell us more about your memoir, When Birds Sing: My Journey from Trauma to Triumph? What inspired you to write it?
Arielle: Actually, as with most things in life, it was a culmination of several things going on in my life.
I had just graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York, and they were telling us to be a successful health coach. It would be imperative to write a book.
Since I was already a CPC (certified professional life coach) and had suffered for over two decades from untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), I knew I did not want to write a cookbook!
So, I began my five-year journey of writing my story as inspiration to other women who have suffered or are currently suffering from PTSD and C-PTSD because of trauma from domestic violence, sexual assault, childhood abuse, etc.
Norm: How did you come to realize that you were suffering from C-PTSD? Could you describe the turning point when you looked into the mirror and saw your life before you?
Arielle: When I was a naïve 16 years old, I was sexually assaulted by my boss’ husband while at work (she had left me in charge while she was in the hospital).
I handled the assault with incredible maturity; however, my parents insisted I return to work the next day to be alone with the perpetrator again.
I began to doubt my ability to make good decisions and ironically; I accepted a date with a new guy at school.
He had orchestrated something else. He picked up two other guys from our class and drove to a dark, dirt road outside of town where they all sexually assaulted me.
I wore the shame of that night as my new identity for many, many years to come.
My shame was fueled because I did not fight. Later, when researching him when I was writing my book, I learned he had gone to prison for sodomizng a 13-year-old.
He had an accomplice to that assault as well. Learning that he was a violent predator helped me begin to let go of the shame.
If I had fought, he may have killed me with the others looking on in disbelief.
The above incidents went untreated and consequently, I got involved with someone who abused me for four years.
I was able to leave him then, but still was not aware that I was developing C-PTSD so I continued to spiral downward until one day I had a conscious awakening where I broke through the self-talk of the PTSD (“you don’t need help you’re doing fine”) and C-PTSD and got on my knees begging God for help after taking a long, hard look in the mirror at the true reality of where my life was.
After I allowed myself to ask for help, I was able to help myself and begin to design my personal recovery plan.
Norm: What were some challenges you faced while dealing with C-PTSD and the symptoms it caused? How did these symptoms affect your daily life and relationships?
Arielle: My symptoms were continual rumination and flashbacks from the four years of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse.
I also suffered deep shame from the sexual assault by three guys when I was 16 years old.
Therefore, my self-esteem was very low which caused me to choose people that did not have my best interest at heart.
This became an addiction to having to be in a relationship to validate my identity and search for love. Again, because of the shame, I isolated from family and friends.
Norm: You mentioned feeling empty and seeking validation from others. How did this pattern of seeking validation contribute to the dynamics of your relationships? How did it impact your self-worth?
Arielle: I became obsessive compulsive (addicted) in my search for my identity and love but thought I would find those things in others. I did not have the awareness that the love I was looking for was within me.
People saw me as a victim and continued the pattern of abandonment and betrayal that started when I was very young which, in turn, caused me to trust people less and less - until I hit bottom.
Norm: You mentioned experiencing anger and distrust toward the world, which led to frequent relocations. Could you share a specific experience that stands out in your memory where you felt the need to flee because of a threatening situation?
Arielle: I was seeing this person who was of the Roma culture. He told me he was single, but one day I got a phone call where this woman was saying to me she was his wife (not officially married but in gypsy culture considered married) and she was parked outside my apartment building waiting to kill me with a knife!
I waited for one or two days until I saw her car leave and then I immediately fled with my belongings to a motel!
Norm: Feeling permanently damaged or worthless is a common symptom among individuals with PTSD. How did this belief impact your ability to heal and move forward? How did it influence your choice of relationships?
Arielle: As the downward spiral of untreated PTSD continued, the feeling as if I was completely different to other people heightened to a fever pitch to where I associated with people in the mafia, people who may be murderers, drug addicts and alcoholics.
I stayed on the fringe of society dealing with less than desirable people most times, which would lead to me ping ponging from one symptom/behavior to another and back.
On the outside, I looked quite attractive and unaffected by my difficult life, but inside, I was suffering from every PTSD symptom which included intrusive thoughts or images, vivid flashbacks, intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma and physical sensations such as pain, insomnia, tachycardia, heart palpitations and panic attacks.
I also suffered from all the C-PTSD symptoms. They include:
difficulty controlling your emotions
feeling very angry or distrustful toward the world
constant feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
feeling as if you are permanently damaged or worthless
feeling as if you are completely different to other people
feeling like nobody can understand what happened to you
avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult
often experiencing dissociative symptoms such as depersonalization or derealization
physical symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness, chest pains and stomach aches
regular suicidal feelings
Norm: Could you elaborate on how the difficulty of controlling your emotions affected your daily life and your struggle with anxiety? How did you cope with this high level of anxiety, particularly when it led to black out drunken states and contributed to your chronic depression?
Arielle: I coped by continually getting involved with people who could not connect on a deep level with me and who took advantage of me.
I was extremely blessed in that I only had one or two times of a black-out drunken state.
It scared me so much that I stopped drinking like that.
There were also countless times that my rational mind would kick in and I would make decisions that would save my life.
Norm: You mentioned feeling different from other people and staying on the fringe of society. How did this sense of being different impact your interactions and your ability to find support or understanding from others?
Arielle: Well, I did NOT seek help because of this belief (it was a symptom which turned into a belief). That is the reason I wrote “When Birds Sing” so that I could help women not struggle like I did and not listen to the lie of PTSD that they do NOT need help.
Norm: Besides the symptoms you described, you also mentioned experiencing intrusive thoughts, vivid flashbacks, and physical sensations related to your PTSD. How did you manage these symptoms while on your healing journey?
Arielle: Sound sleep allows me to wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated for my day. Stretching and exercise, including yoga and gyrokinesis help me stay flexible and grounded. Organic foods fuel my body with nutrition, along with supplementation, chiropractic, and naturopathic medicine.
Talking to my “soul sister”, friends and family help me stay connected with people along with any clients I may have. I also do schema therapy because I am always continuing to go deeper into my healing and personal growth as a wife, certified life and health coach, family member, friend, and member of this great land.
Also, doing articles, podcasts, presentations, and writing my blog helps me heal and grow as well.
Norm: As this interview ends, what advice would you give to others who may face similar challenges and struggling with trauma? How did you find the strength to endure and heal, and what steps did you take towards finding your true self?
Arielle: Let my story When Birds Sing – My Journey from Trauma to Triumph catapult you into action to seek help.
Here’s a list of resources.
I found the strength to endure and heal because I humbled myself to look at my life without the PTSD glasses on.
I then got down on my knees and asked my Savior to help me.
From that day to this, I use all the energy I used to survive to thrive, and I stay in gratitude to do so. I design my recovery with what aligns with me and not because it worked for someone else.
I am truly blessed to be able to have the courage to put my story on paper and break through the shame into the freedom of the truth.
