WHO AM I WITHOUT MY TRAUMA?
FROM TRAUMA AS MY IDENTITY TO WHOLENESS
In my over two decades spiral into darkness and despair, I did not give much thought to who I was, but just thought that I had ‘bad luck’. As the traumas piled on top of one another, I was unaware of how important ‘getting help’ was and how the trauma would ‘change me’.
How did Trauma Define Me?
Of course, when I experienced the sexual assault of my boss’s husband and consequently lost my confidence in my decision-making process because my parents forced me to go back into the environment with him, I was affected by the incident. Looking back, I see that having lost my confidence in my decision-making process was the beginning of trauma defining who I was. My story corroborates this because in just a short time later I made a poor decision when I accepted a date with a new guy in our class who had a ‘bad’ reputation. After the horrific sexual assault of the ‘bad guy’ and two of his ‘friends’, was when trauma began to fully define who I was. I describe it as like a cancer that started out small and grew to eventually render me unable to take care of myself. Trauma affected my concentration abilities so that I could not focus on doing my homework. I was an A-B student who graduated with a C+ average. After high school, I married someone that I did not love so that I could get out of living with my parents, which was another poor decision.
Ascending to Wholeness
Of course, I had no awareness that trauma was now defining my identity. But what I finally faced was that my life was unmanageable. That was the moment that I ‘let go’ and asked God for help. The mere act of ‘letting go’ or surrendering allowed me to open to many possibilities that, until that moment, had been shut out of my life. I did not understand that I was using my strength and perseverance to stay in the ‘trauma identity’ which, in turn, kept my life in a ‘spin’ cycle. I just went around and around bouncing back and forth from one traumatic experience to the next.
With the newfound freedom of beginning to ‘face life’, I began to use my incredible strength, courage, and perseverance to dedicate myself to my healing journey and finding my ‘true’ or ‘authentic’ self. I share this today to tell you that it’s NEVER TOO LATE to find out who you truly are and begin to love yourself every day. The love that you give yourself will radiate out to others and soon you will find that your life is changing in ways that you NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. KEEP GOING – YOU CAN DO IT!
Go to ariellespring.net to get started on YOUR healing journey today.
